


Hazy

by zeejayblue



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: ADHD Lance, Gen, Lance (Voltron) Has ADHD, Lance (Voltron)-centric, Mental Health Issues, Neurodiversity, me? projecting my issues onto my favorite characters? it's more likely than you think
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-16
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-12-30 09:49:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12106074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zeejayblue/pseuds/zeejayblue
Summary: Some days, Lance’s ADHD doesn’t seem to bother him much. Today is not one of those days.





	Hazy

Tap, tap, tap. Up and down, and up and down, and up and down. Lance’s leg bounced restlessly, and it was like he couldn’t stop himself. Lance’s whole body felt like a motor, vibrating constantly with no signs of stopping. He huffed dramatically as he squirmed in his seat. Lance tried his best to hold himself down; he felt like we was going to explode any second from sitting still for that long.

Allura and Shiro had been lecturing everyone about an upcoming mission and how they should all be training. No matter how hard Lance tried to focus and listen to their words, they just bounced around in his head. Lance tried to grab a word or two so he could at least grasp a basic idea of what they were saying, but to no avail. Listening took too much energy and focus, and Lance’s brain opted out and fluttered elsewhere. 

Lance’s vision blurred as all sounds around him were reduced to a quiet mutter, and then eventually a soft, white noise. His legs still anxiously bouncing, Lance’s vacant eyes stared out into endless space, not focusing on anything.

“Lance,” Shiro paused his lecture to call on the dazed blue paladin. Lance was so out of it, that he was unresponsive. Shiro cleared his throat before calling Lance’s name a second time. 

Lance snapped back to when he heard someone call his name. As soon as he made eye contact with Shiro, Lance’s face flushed a shade of bright red and he looked back down to fidget with his jacket sleeves.

“Were you even listening to me?” Shiro questioned coolly. Lance’s face fell and he didn’t look up. Keith raised an eyebrow at Lance’s odd behavior and shrugged as he returned his attention to Shiro and Allura.

“Okay Lance, sit up straight. Take a breath; focus. It’s not that hard,” Lance told himself in his head, blinking rapidly to clear away the familiar haze from his vision. Lance had stretched and cleared his throat, preparing to focus.

As soon as he got comfortable, Lance’s mind left again as quickly as it had returned. He almost seemed to sway back and forth a little as he continued to habitually jiggle his leg up and down. Keith noticed Lance zoning out again, so he nudged the blue paladin with his elbow. Lance’s eyes focused on his feet before he turned to face the red paladin.

“You good?” Keith queried quietly. Lance took a moment to process Keith’s words before languidly nodding as he slowly faced Allura and Shiro once more.

It felt hopeless. Each time Lance tried to clear the haziness from his head, it never worked. It took too much effort; it took too much mental energy to do. Lance had resorted to using his physical energy to try and make himself focus, but that didn’t work either; it just made him feel exhausted. 

Lance’s vision blurred again as his body temporarily powered down. He sat there, slumped over for a few seconds as his energy recovered. Lance sat up straight again when his physical energy returned, but his eyes were still vacant and hollow. 

Something made Lance focus again, and he suddenly sat up straight and listened to Shiro and Allura briefly. Shiro was talking passionately about how the paladins need to up their game, and other training related things that needed to be done. Lance quickly became uninterested and his mind automatically faded away again for a minute.

“Alright guys, we’ll train after dinner,” Shiro announced, causing Lance’s head to snap upwards. The paladins shot Lance a concerned expression as he slowly stood up and stretched. Lance rubbed his face with his hands before stretching his back. Keith glanced at the blue paladin over his shoulder before he left the room. 

Lance was the last to leave, taking his time to walk slowly. Then, like a switch inside him had flipped, he had more energy -  _ too much energy  _ \- and began to walk briskly down the hallway and into the common room where everyone else was.

Lance strode into the common room and sat down next to Keith, eager to join their conversation. His leg jiggled up and down and he patted his thighs rapidly with his restless hands. Keith raised an eyebrow at Lance’s sudden change in behavior.

“Finally woke up a little?” Keith queried. Lance thought for a moment before realizing he never told anyone about his ADHD. He spent so long thinking about that - and long to Lance was about 10 seconds - he completely forgot what Keith had asked him.

“Huh?” Lance voiced, tilting his head to the side a little as his brows furrowed. Hunk shot Lance a worried glance before continuing his conversation with Shiro and Pidge. Keith sighed and shook his head.

“Never mind, it wasn’t important anyway,” Keith muttered. Lance froze and then felt his shoulders slump over.

Had he made Keith angry? Lance wasn’t trying to make him angry. Should he apologize, or would that annoy him even more? Lance didn’t want to drive Keith away; Keith is Lance’s best friend. Or is he? He seems angry with Lance right now. 

“You okay?” Keith asked for the second time that day. Lance’s head snapped over towards Keith. Thanks to his previous train of thought, he mistook Keith’s neutral face for an irritated one. 

“Yeah,” Lance responded automatically. Keith raised an eyebrow in uncertainty.

“You seem… spacey,” Keith observed. Lance looked to Keith with an almost tired expression.

“I just… didn’t get enough sleep last night,” Lance lied quickly. It wasn’t entirely a lie; he really didn't sleep well the night before. Lance’s brain refused to shut up. His mind kept thinking about things that happened years ago, or about menial things that don’t even matter in the slightest. The more Lance tried to ignore them, the more he felt them bother him.

“Oh,” Keith replied, unsure of what else to say. Keith felt like there was more going on, but decided not to bring it up.

Lance felt his focus start to fade in and out, but he also felt like he had to get up and walk around. He felt the need to  _ do _ something. The room was too quiet; he needed noise, stimulation. Hoping to calm himself down, Lance cleared his throat. He felt relieved for a moment, but started to feel tense again when no sounds besides quiet side conversations followed. Lance tried to focus on what Hunk was saying, but he was speaking too quietly and no other noises could be heard. It wasn’t stimulating enough; Lance grew bored and restless quickly. 

“Well,” Lance burst suddenly, practically exploding out of his chair. Shiro, Hunk and Pidge paused their conversation to look to Lance as he leapt into the air from a sitting position. Keith gave him a confused look as he leaned forward a bit.

“I’m gonna find something to do, I’m bored.” Lance declared with a huff. Keith glanced to everyone else, and they all mumbled their neutral approval before continuing their previous conversations. This irked Lance a little, but he didn’t know why.

Lance began to pace the castle, half looking for something to do, and half walking around just to get his legs to stop vibrating. He didn’t have the energy to try to train, but he wanted something to do. When you’re in space, there isn’t many choices, which kills Lance on the inside a little more every day.

Lance got so lost in his endless stream of thoughts that he didn’t even realize he made four laps around the entire castle until Shiro stopped him because he entered the common room for the fifth time that day. Irritated for being stopped suddenly, Lance shifted his weight on his legs to keep them moving.

“You’ve been acting kind of off today,” Shiro pointed out. Lance felt a bit of anger rise in his chest, but tried to remember that nobody knows he has ADHD.

Usually the symptoms aren’t this bad. Each day for him is different; today is just one of those days when his triggers affect him more and more often than they normally do. 

“I’m fine,” Lance muttered hotly. Shiro raised an eyebrow at Lance’s sudden hostility.

“Are you sure?” Shiro questioned calmly. The calmness is Shiro’s voice sharply contrasted with Lance’s restlessness, which sent him over the edge for some reason.

“I  _ said _ I’m  _ fine _ !” Lance exploded, clenching his fists to his sides. It took a second for Lance to process his outburst before his shoulders and face fell.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to explode at you,” Lance muttered, not sounding genuine because he was still attempting to cool off. Shiro sighed heavily.

“You don’t sound fine to me,” Shiro sharpened his voice a little to match Lance’s. It caught his attention, and he looked up to his senior officer.

“What’s going on?” Shiro queried, his voice level but with a hint of concern. Lance inhaled sharply, and exhaled before replying.

“It’s just one of those days,” Lance muttered. “My ADHD has been bothering me more than usual… I’m sorry if I’m causing trouble, or not doing so great in training.”

“Lance, why didn’t you say something?” Shiro questioned. Lance sighed and sat down on the couch next to Keith, who was looking at him with concern and interest. Shiro sat down in his normal spot, still waiting for a response from the blue paladin.

“I don’t know, I just… didn’t want anyone to assume anything,” Lance shrugged.

“Today is just....” Lance trailed off, the thought in his head disappearing. Lance thought hard for a moment, trying to get the thought back. It didn’t work, and Lance was left completely stumped as to what he was talking about before.

“What was I saying?” Lance muttered, rubbing his temples as a headache came along.

“Today is just…” Keith echoed, hoping that would help Lance get back on track. Lance focused for a minute, and then suddenly jolted in his seat as the idea struck him again like lightning.

“Oh yeah!” Lance shouted excitedly as he got back on track. Lance’s sudden volume change surprised the paladins, but they let him continue to speak.

The paladins listened to Lance rant about his ADHD and he kept voicing how he was so glad that he finally had someone to listen. Lance repeated a few jokes or a few phrases and forgot what he was saying a couple of times, but the paladins found a way to keep up with Lance’s rambling.

Lance suddenly stopped rambling and sighed heavily, pondering for a moment. Lance thought for a moment before shrugging.

“I was gonna say something else…” He muttered, scrunching his brows together as he tried to resurface the thought. He gave up after a few seconds and just shrugged.

“Well, thank you guys for listening to me! I’m glad I have someone who listens to me ramble endlessly,” Lance finished.

“You said that before,” Keith chuckled with amusement. Lance’s face flushed a shade of pink.

“Right, sorry,” Lance muttered.

“Don’t apologize,” Keith assured.

“Well, I’m bored now,” Lance declared, standing up again.

“You know what? I could use something to do, too,” Pidge added. 

“Hunk finally figured out how to connect our video game console… wanna race me in Mario Kart?” Pidge offered. Lance’s face broke out into a huge smile as he nodded. 

“Let’s go!” Lance urged, rushing off into the game room. Pidge stood up and jogged down the hallway after him.

Lance and Pidge continued to play video games until Shiro called everyone for training. Even though it was painful for Lance to sit and wait his turn to spar, once he did get up and moving he felt a little better. After training for a while, he felt calmer and a little more at ease. Lance started to feel so calm, that he slowly grew exhausted. 

After everyone finished training for the day, Lance announced that he was going to bed, and everyone said goodnight before he set off down the hallway. It was a little earlier than he normally went to bed, but Lance hasn’t had a good night’s sleep in weeks; he should at least try to get a little extra rest.

Lance laid down in bed and was finally able to shut his brain off after he thought his way to nearly falling asleep on himself. Lance tossed and turned a bit before he finally found a comfortable spot.

Lance sighed contentedly as he finally flicked his brain’s off switch, happy to finally get some well needed sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> wow hi it's been too long  
> i've been busy with school and blegh  
> my ADHD has been worse than usual so hey im projecting my issues onto my comfort characters to cope... i'm a mess ignore me  
> but i've had this hc for lance bc his behavior reminds me so much of myself, and also i cope w it okay leave me alone  
> but hERE have this  
> i started it 2 days ago but lost interest but i felt pressured to post something new so take it  
> sorry if it ended weird? i tried to figure out another way to end it but... my mind crapped out on me and this is all i got   
> hope you enjoyed it m'dudes :)


End file.
